


The Lonesome Dreamers

by BirdyBanter



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:13:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23635138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirdyBanter/pseuds/BirdyBanter
Summary: Starsky is captivated by a band with a compelling lead singer. While he listens to their music he wonders if he could write a song so sweet anyone could hear the apology in it.
Relationships: Ken Hutchinson/David Starsky
Kudos: 12





	The Lonesome Dreamers

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy the read, comments welcome.

It wasn’t Starsky’s usual sort of place. Smokey bars were more his kind of thing. But right now, he didn’t want to be anywhere else other than in this glitzy night club, on a table midway between the stage and the door. Near enough to have a good view of the stage but far enough back to be unnoticed from those on stage. Yes, it was perfect, for a man who needed just a bit more time to get up his courage.

‘It’s exciting, isn’t it?’ The lady in red sat next to him said leaning slightly towards him to ensure being heard over the hum of the room.

‘Sure is.’ He said without taking his attention from the stage.

‘Have you heard them play live before?’

Starsky didn’t know how to answer that. The answer to the question had so many layers to it. More than this stranger could ever imagine.

‘The lead singer…he…I’ve heard him sing live and play some too.’

‘Really? I didn’t know he’d done any solo performances.’

‘No, he’s not really a soloist, he used to prefer being part of a duo anyway.’

‘He did? Well, you must be a bigger fan than even I am, if you know so much. But then who wouldn’t be. He is wonderful, isn’t he?’

‘He sure is.’ Starsky heard his own voice crack on the last word.

‘Say do you…you don’t know him do you?’

Before Starsky could answer a man came out on stage.

‘Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I’d like to invite you to give a warm welcome to our act for the evening, the wonderful and definitely dreamy, it’s The Lonesome Dreamers.’ The man walked off and the band began to emerge from the side of the stage.

The audience whooped, clapped and whistled as the band came onto the stage. And as the last man on stage moved to the mike the crowd’s cheering got louder and calls like, ‘Come home with me tonight handsome,’ rung out from the audience. And there he was glowing and offering the room that radiant smile that used to be reserved for Starsky. Yes the beautiful blond dressed all in denim apart from black boots was as stunning as Starsky remembered and was still the man he knew so well or at least that was what Starsky hoped as he took in his fill of the unique package that made up his friend and one time partner Ken Hutchinson. 

The words to one particular song seemed to speak to Starsky and the way it was sung it was almost like Hutch knew he was there, but that wasn’t possible. He hadn’t told anyone he would be here tonight, and he was sure Hutch hadn’t seen him, hadn’t even looked his way. He hadn’t looked at the audience much at all. ‘Your lost in the music like always, aren’t you Babe?’ Starsky thought fondly. Then he focused back on the words being sung.

‘I know where you’ve been,   
what those sad looks mean.  
That hurt’s still in your heart,  
the reason you felt we had to part.  
But love is where it’s always been…waiting for you.’

The song’s words, written by the singer seemed to be taunting him, reminding him of what he’d given up and promising something that couldn’t possibly be true. How could the love of that beautiful man really still be waiting for him after what he’d done? 

As the music to the final song faded Starsky came back to himself, for a short while he’d been transported to somewhere pure, somewhere beautiful. But of course, it couldn’t last and now he was staring at the man at the microphone. ‘Thank you all so much for being here tonight and listening to us. It’s been our great privilege to perform for you and we hope you’ll come back again soon. Goodnight folks and safe journey home.’ Hutch took a bow and clapped towards the rest of the band and then the audience before he left the stage.

Starsky’s heart sank, he had felt lost the moment Hutch left the stage and knowing he couldn’t follow him hadn’t helped but he’d optimistically thought that Hutch would come out front for a few drinks to unwind after the performance but an hour had gone by and no sign of him. He was considering leaving himself, after all the band were playing for a couple more nights and so he had a chance to approach Hutch or sit nearer the stage or something tomorrow. But then a blond head appeared at the edge of the stage and then headed out to the bar. It was just the top of a head but Starsky followed it eagerly. It wasn’t him. He was hit by how deflated he felt. Who was it? Ah yes, the guitarist. Not that Starsky was paying much attention to the rest of the band but he was even so still a fine detective. And fine detectives didn’t pass up the opportunity to go after a lead or initiate an interrogation when the opportunity presented itself. 

‘Mikey, isn’t it?’ Starsky knew the answer before he asked, he’d done his research. 

‘Who wants to know?’ Mikey said not even turning from his stool. 

‘Names David S-‘he cut himself off unsure if he wanted this guy to give Hutch the heads up on his presence in town. ‘Ah the names David and that was some performance.’ 

‘You a guitar player?’ Mikey asked suspicious.

‘I play a bit.’ Starsky thought truth was best.

‘I bet. Listen pal, I don’t get a lot of people interested in my meagre riffs so if like I think you’re after our lead singer then you’re out of luck, he’s gone on somewhere and I’m not your ticket to him, okay so why not move along.’

The tone was harsh but Starsky couldn’t blame the guy, he probably got sick of playing second fiddle to the talented Mr. Hutchinson, oddly enough Starsky could well sympathize.

‘He can be a bit of a one, can’t he? Moody sun of a gun at the best of times and at the worst…’

That finally got the man’s attention, ‘At the worst of times he’ll have your back like no one else ever has.’

That hit Starsky in the chest, that was Hutch to a tee, infuriating as all hell but if you needed him he was at your side, holding you up, the ground never an option, safe in those strong, gentle arms. Until you’re stupid enough to let him go that is. 

‘Yeah, that sounds like him alright.’

The man assessed him, up and down the gaze wandered. 

‘And who ae you to the man in question, can I ask?’ 

Starsky didn’t seem to see the point in lying, that wouldn’t get him the information he needed. A stranger wouldn’t be given information especially if thought an obsessed fan.

‘I’m an old friend, we go way back me and Hutch. We were partners on the force.’

‘Oh, so you’re that guy.’

‘What guy?’

‘Never mind.’

‘No go on.’

‘Hutch…no one calls him that. Stan, our drummer tried it out once, just messin’ around and Kenny went off like a rocket. Never saw him so angry, it’s Ken or Kenny but we all know better than to call him Hutch, figured there was a story behind it but never got the guts up to ask.’ 

‘So, he’s never talked about me or his days on the force.’

‘Nope.’

‘Bet he’s lovin’ all this though, the adoring fans and that…is he, he you know okay?’

‘Depends what you mean by okay…drinks too much, smokes more than’s good for his voice and he’s grumpier than all hell in the mornings but he’s still the best friend I got and shares my love of music, it’s not about the fame and fans for him, that novelty wore of a long time ago for all of us.’ 

‘Are you two together?’

‘No…not for lack of trying either, least on my part.’

‘So, you, ah…like him, like that I mean?’

‘Sure, don’t you? And if we’re really having this conversation you should take a seat.’

Starsky lowered himself onto the stool next to Mikey. 

‘So, why’s he not here with you, kickin’ back after the gig?’

‘He’s been keepin’ to himself more and more lately, especially since…’

‘Since?’

‘I’m not sure I should be talkin’ to you about this, Kenny mightn’t like it.’

‘Maybe not but if you two aren’t…is there someone special, a lady maybe?’

‘Guess you really are an old friend. Always breakin’ that big heart of his over someone, isn’t he?’

‘So who is it this time?’

‘Like I said-‘

‘I know but if you ask me Mikey, you’re worried about him and I am too believe it or not. And it’s a habit you just can’t break, it’s not possible because that ol’ heart a his is as vulnerable as it is big.’

Mikey shook his head and smiled, ‘So true. Her name is Celina.’

‘Pretty name.’ Starsky smiled.

‘Pretty girl too, a fan to start with and she was real sweet on Kenny. He tried to resist but she came wherever we played and she was hard to resist especially to someone like Kenny who likes to nurture people. But he got in too deep before he realized she was just a kid.’

‘How old?’ Starsky couldn’t keep the worry from his voice.

‘Seventeen but she looked much older, I would never have thought.’

‘Did he get in trouble, like with the Father?’

‘He was none too happy but mostly because it was Kenny who got her in trouble.’

‘You mean?’

‘Pregnant, yeah.’

‘She keep the baby?’

‘Yes, and he was set to do the right thing, marry her and everything but the parents wouldn’t give permission.’

‘So what happened?’

‘Took their daughter and granddaughter and moved away.’

‘He’s got a daughter, a little girl and they took her away from him?’

‘Yeah it was a shame thing, wanted to pretend it didn’t happen, raise the baby as their own.’

‘And Hutch went along with it?’

‘Hell no, he fought but what could he do, sorta felt like the bad guy, didn’t want to hurt the family any more than he thought he already had. He sees his daughter sometimes, not much, not as often as he’d like but he provides for her financially and does what he can. What he can do from the road.’

‘No wonder he’s drownin’ his sorrows must be killin’ him. Leavin’ his little girl without her Daddy.’

‘Yeah, he’s broken up alright.’

‘How old is she, his little girl?’

‘Nearly two.’ 

‘I bet she’s beautiful.’

‘She is.’ Mikey seemed to hesitate for a moment but then he reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out his wallet. He them unsnapped it and took out a picture that he handed to Starsky.

Starsky studied it.

‘Looks like her Daddy, don’t she?’ Mikey said with a voice that held a little wonder.

‘Yeah, she sure does.’ Starsky looked at the photo, in it Hutch’s eyes were alight and he was smiling the most radiant smile Starsky had ever seen on him. The little girl in his arms, who seemed to be giggling had blond ringlets and the most sparkling blue eyes Starsky had seen since the last time he’d looked directly into Hutch’s. 

‘They look so happy.’

‘Yeah, I love that picture, but it breaks my heart too. He’s so good with her, loves her with his whole heart.’

Anyone who studied this picture would know that to be true but all Starsky had to know was Hutch, to be sure of the love that man was capable of. His love was always fierce but for his child, even Starsky could only imagine. 

Mikey reached for the photo and reluctantly Starsky gave it back. He watched it disappear into the wallet, kicking himself that he had no such recent picture of Hutch and had never met his lovely little one, he’d missed so much, and it was his own fault.

‘I...I should get going.’ Starsky said suddenly feeling like he no longer wanted to be in the company of someone who had more rights to Hutch than he did, knew more or maybe all his secret, details Starsky could only guess at. The hurt cut deep like a thousand papercuts to the heart. 

‘But you’ll be back, won’t you?’

‘Can’t stay away anymore.’

‘Don’t come back…he’s got enough hurt in his life. He has us now, the band we’re here for him. We look after him. He has the love he needs, and we won’t let him down.’ 

Starsky wanted to let his fists do the talking, how dare he say he was more what Hutch needed than he was. Hutch was out somewhere alone wasn’t he, so this guy couldn’t be taking that good care of him.

‘I’m not lookin’ to hurt him, I’ll pick up the pieces if he’ll let me, help him fight for his daughter, I’ll do whatever it takes.’

‘Big talk for a guy who hasn’t been in his life for…how many years is it?’

‘Now listen…’ Starsky said grabbing the guy’s jacket.

‘Listen to what some guy who probably messed him around and who I’m guessin’ was cut out of his life for a reason.’

Starsky released him. ‘That’s all in the past, I’m here to stay and I’ll prove myself but to Hutch not you.’

‘Good luck with that, he might be the sort of man who’d give everything up for love but I’d bet my house you’re not worth it and I won’t let him. He’s too talented, too wonderful to waste all of it on something like this and I’ll never let go, he’s too important for that.’

‘Too you or the band?’ Starsky said with a challenging growl. 

‘Both, but this is about loyalty and friendship not money. And I don’t make mistakes with the people I care about.’

‘If that’s true you’re a lucky man but I’ve learnt from my mistakes and I’m not backing away.’

‘Well just so’s you know you got a fight on your hands.’

‘Bring it on, he’s worth it.’

‘Damn straight he is.’

This was more like it, much more like The Pits than the swanky place he left half an hour ago. He could do with sinking a few beers. Starsky made his way towards the bar and as he did a man crossed in front of him, presumably on his way back from the john. Starsky stood there for a minute, taking in the blond and as strange as it was to say he’d know the back of that head anywhere, even after not being this close to it in years. He was frozen to the spot.

Starsky cleared his throat but the man didn’t turn.

‘Say aren’t you one of The Lonesome Dreamers?’

‘Depends who’s asking, I’m in no mood for autographs tonight.’ He said without turning.

‘Well it’s someone who wants to know if you’re lonesome tonight.’ Starsky said trying to sound casual but the quiver in his voice betrayed him.

‘That the best line you got buddy? Not much of a pick-up, ain’t gonna tempt me to the other side of the street if you know what I mean.’ The voice held no recognition.

‘You crossed that way once before…for me, Hutch.’

His shoulders tensed and then Hutch released his beer and turned, to glare at Starsky with eyes burning wilder than a forest fire.

‘Didn’t recognize my voice then?’ Starsky asked needlessly.

‘Haven’t heard it in…’ Hutch’s tone had a low a rumble somewhere in it.

‘A long time, I know but probably not long enough.’

‘Not hardly, what are you doing here Starsky? If it’s a warm welcome you were-‘

‘No Hutch no, I have no expectations…I only want you to know one thing.’

‘What?’

‘I’m not leaving, not ever…I’ll never turn away that easy again, not be so much of a fool.’ 

‘You aren’t a fool Starsky, not that, but you are one hell of a coward.’

‘I know.’

‘If that’s all you’ve got then don’t let the door hit you on the way out. I’m not in the mood for company and I want to finish my beer in peace.’

Instead of responding Starsky sat down on the stool next to Hutch.

‘If you want rid of me, you’ll have to physically remove me. I…I know you’re hurting Hutch. I know about Celina and your daughter.’

Hutch turned then and grabbed Starsky by his leather jacket. 

‘And who told you that huh? Huggy?’

‘No, I didn’t know you still…it was Mikey.’

Hutch lowered Starsky back down to his seat. ‘Well he has a big mouth and my private life is no longer your concern partner.’ His words dripped with contempt.

‘I…I want to comfort you, support you, be a part of whatever’s going on in your life.’

‘Y-You gave up that right when you refused to fight for us. When you gave up ‘cause things got rough. When you insisted a ‘normal’ life would be better for both of us.’

‘It…it was better for you Babe, look at everything you’ve got now, you’re one of the most famous singers in the country.’

‘You think that kinda thing matters most to me, more than what….’

‘No, no of course not, nothin’ could…I know that now, I always did deep down. But you have your daughter, you’re little girl you wouldn’t have if we-‘

‘I don’t…d-don’t have her in case you haven’t noticed. She’s with her Mother…not me.’ The pain in Hutch’s voice was so evident it went straight to Starsky’s heart.

‘I know, I know sweetheart, but we can fight it, you and me if…if you let me back in. I’d give anything for that.’

‘Would you? And for how long, until it got rough again?’

‘I know you’re hurtin’ Hutch but it’s my life I’ve ruined, totally ruined…you think it’s just your heart that broke and I know I got no right ‘cause I did the breakin’ but I hurt so much buddy, so very much and I can’t do it no more. I swear I can’t take it; I can’t do this on my own, I can’t bear it. Don’t you see Hutch I need you, every bit or maybe more than you need me. We weren’t made to do it like this separately, if we keep on, we’ll destroy ourselves. I’ve got a long way to go to make it right and I know it but please baby, let me try, please.’ 

Hutch hung his head; his shoulders came down too.

‘I’ve lost everything Starsk, my little girl she’s…she’s…’

‘I know buddy, I know but I promise we’ll make sure you see more of her, do whatever it takes to make that happen. I’ll stand beside you; we can stand strong together if you give me the chance, I’ll make sure you don’t regret it. We’ll make sure your beautiful little…oh I don’t even know her name…Mikey didn’t say…he….’

‘Freya, it was my Grandmother’s name.’

‘Oh, that’s beautiful and she’s beautiful too, she looks so much like you.’

‘I know, Celina and her family all have dark colouring. My Freya looks like I did as a baby…I love her so damn much Starsk.’ Hutch’s voice broke on those words and tears filled his eyes.

‘I can tell, it shines outa ya. I could tell from that photo and you’ve got that same sweet, adoring look in your eyes now. Come ‘ere please, baby. I…I wanna hold ya, I hate that you been hurtin’ so much without me to try and ease it for you, even just a little.’ Starsky opened his arms.

After only a moments hesitation Hutch sunk gratefully into them.

As Hutch soaked Starsky’s jacket with long held in tears Starsky whispered in his ear, ‘We’ll be a family, Babe. Like we always shoulda been. I took for granted what a special thing we had, a love so pure and strong only an idiot like me could break it. But if you give me your heart again, I’ll protect it, keep it safe and together we’ll show your little Freya how loved she is and how wonderful our little family can be. I don’t deserve your love, but I know how big your heart is and I’ll give you everythin’ I got, if you share your love with me. ‘

‘Will you really be mine, Starsky?’

‘All yours babe and only yours, no one else could ever come close.’

‘Freya has to come first, always.’ Hutch said with eyes that held a Father’s love. 

‘I wouldn’t have it any other way, she has my heart too and I could live on the smallest bit of your love as long as you can still hold me in your heart.’

‘My heart never let you go, so I couldn’t either.’

‘My heart couldn’t give you up either, gave me hell over the worst decision of my life. I wish I’d held on tight, Hutch.’

‘I guess there isn’t anything stoppin’ you holding on now.’

‘I guess not…it’s me and you, Partner.’

‘The way it always should have been.’

‘Yeah, just like that.’ As he spoke Starsky leaned in to kiss Hutch on the cheek.

And at least one lonesome dreamer was no longer alone in his dream.


End file.
